effective and ineffective comments

Moves

1. We all knew of the SAT, for instance, but had no concrete idea of how to prepare for it.

 This is the result of no single staff member dedicated to helping students apply to college. However, the writer write about this move before blame no staff member. It is because to show a strict result first can give some thinking, more importantly, it explain how small things cause a big problem step by step.

2. We were also on our own

As a student, we can not do too many things by ourselves. The words “also” shows as a poor student they need to do somethings that they shouldn’t do.

3. I almost missed out on qualifying for aid because I couldn’t get the forms I needed from my mother, who was still my legal guardian.

This moves shows the writer still not give up. The word “still” shows the realistic is cruel.

4. I was not alone

This moves shows it’s not a rare phenomenon. And it shows the how big group of student really need help.

5 effective comments

1. I believe that this article is well written and makes several reasonable points. However, there are countless resources, many of them free of charge, that are available to anyone and everyone who is applying to a college. For the low income students who are excelling in their high schools, colleges will seek out those students and make them offers which would be practically impossible to refuse. For the below-average and marginal students, there is no shame in attending a local community college and gaining the requisite background/resources to navigate the complexities of college financial aid, etc. Small steps always come before big steps.

Reason: It’s more like the summary of the article. The comments not only shows his own opinion at first, but also point out the main point of the op-ed --------for the low income students who are excelling in their high schools, colleges will seek out those students and make them offers which would be practically impossible to refuse.

2. 

One of my friends, a single mom who had left an abusive husband, had he audacity to try to go to college and improve her life while she was collecting federal benefits. The benefits programs imposed requirements on her that nearly derailed her college education. At one point, she had to go to a mandatory benefits “training” that was the exact same week as finals at school, and no amount of pleading could get the training rescheduled. Most of her state college professors worked with her needs, but she failed and had to retake one class because she couldn’t take the final at the appointed time.

Reason: This is a kind of personal experience which is similar with the article. The comments do not mention any opinion directly. But it use a real experience to show the government pay less attention on the some special student. So this comment can be a strongly argument.

3. My poor students, ( the majority at my school), are terrified of debt. It makes sense. They don't trust banks, they don't trust anyone but their families and sometimes not even them. Why should they? The system does not work in their favor and they have to explain themselves to everyone..."Oh, you're an IB Diploma candidate?! Really?" This is constant. Everywhere. Every time. The rich move with ease through the world, we middle class people try to keep up and can fake our way through if we have some moxie. But to be poor in a land that perpetuates the myth of pulling oneself up by the bootstraps is to be perpetually labeled lazy, unfit, inept, criminal or worse. People who are poor work harder than any affluent person I have ever known. My students often work 30  hours a week in addition to going to high school and taking rigorous courses. Frequently they contribute to their family income, helping to pay the rent or for groceries, something no affluent student can even conceive of. College is a dream, one we make more and more difficult. And even when there, they are made to feel less than. It is shameful.

Reason: The comment shows some personal opinion. It illustrate how difficult work more than 30 hours each week as a student. Moreover, the comment use many “?” to how he argue with the normal situation. More importantly, this comment give reader some deep thoughts.

4.There is another way to get through university. By the time I was 16 I was pretty much a daily alcoholic and dropped out of high school. My parents, upper middle class, kicked me out of the house. I took courses at a couple of community colleges in Southern California over the next several years, while working. The story is actually kinda complicated, but I ended up getting into UCLA. I had take loans for my education, but I took 24 units a quarter to speed things up. By the time I was there I was 24 and all business - it was all about classes, which I loved anyway. I ended up graduating Magna Cum Laude and got a couple fellowships for grad school.It's never to late if you can get good grades at a community college.

Reason: This comment give some suggestions. It’s unique and really helpful. The article more like complain not give some actually action. So I think the comment is effective.

5. Mr. Jemmott, I wish you much success in your future! As a CUNY graduate, I’m glad to hear you go to Queens College. The City University of New York offers opportunity to all those who rise to the challenge, and I believe you did.

Reason: This comment encourage the writer and the student have same situation as the writer. It’s an effective comment because it’s positively.

5 ineffective comments

1. The 1% and other rich don't feel that way and the more power we give to them through tax breaks and corporate welfare and adulation the more they will push the poor down.

Reason: This comment more talk about some problem between poor and rich, not for poor student. What’s more, it’s not give any advice and difference with the main idea.

2. Spare me. I went to college as a no income student, borrowed lots of money and payed it all back. I had a great experience and learned a lot about education, people and life. Anyone who goes to college is fortunate.

Reason: This comment only shows how fortunate he is. No idea, no suggestion. Just another story.

3. Wouldn't it be refreshing if for once in a NY Times article like this the author were to show appreciation for what he is getting? Over and over the "poor me how much I've suffered" gets real old. Why is it the responsibility of complete strangers to provide educational opportunities for you when your own family couldn't be bothered?

Reason: This comment include too many blame words. Like the writer do something wrong to be better. It is not a positive comment.

4. Somehow the children of Asian low income,non English speaking immigrant manage to successfully figure out the application procedures.

Reason: Make a new idea but not clearly.

5. I think the author is overstating the case. I went to the Queens College and web site and it is pretty easy to apply there. They have step by step instructions that are very easy to follow. So while it may be daunting to first time college applicants it is quite doable in the wired era. I might add when my children applied to college they were equally overwhelmed by the process even though they came from a two professional family.

Reason: Different situation should be talked in two sides.